Let me tell you about a kid named Steven. He’s slowly running out of things to believe in. Every couple of months his mom leaves him,
for no good reason his step-dad beats him. Not too many friends, only ever had a few of them, but recently they don’t want anything to do with him.
Always eating lunch in the bathroom stall, he just wants to feel normal and be cool again. Always feeling like the outcast, he’s been going crazy ever since his dad passed. He needs guidance and advice but instead he only has breakdowns and flashbacks of the car crash.
It’s been getting harder everyday, if he was still around everything would be ok. Cuz his dad was always the light at the end of the tunnel, but now that same damn tunnel is looking dark and grey.
He keeps quiet in the back of the class and when the bell rings Steven hurries home fast. Scared to death the other kids will kick his ass on the long walk home, cuz its happened in the past. He’s getting used to the black eyes and fat lips, but all he’s got is a fake smile and cut wrists. Wishin’ he could walk right up to them and show them the scars and say "look you’re the reason that I’ve done this"
Maybe they would finally understand and go back to how it was before it all began.
But he’s just a little different so they taunt him and they beat him.
Yeah it’s all just fun and games, they don’t give a damn. His older brother ain’t around, in and out of jail, hanging with the wrong crowd.
He’s been doing coke, smoking weed, getting drunk all his life he’s a shame. No, he’s not too proud.
Now his habits are rubbing off on his little bro yeah, but guess what?
Little did he know that everytime he did a line, everytime he lit a joint,
everytime he took a shot he was sippin mode. So Steven’s sitting in his room getting high now Doors locked, music up, with his lights out.
He just takes another tote til his room fills with smoke 5-6-7 hours til he knocks out. Now he started stealing pills from his mom
8-9-10 at a time and now they’re gone. Maybe for a moment all his problems seem to fade, but the high fades too after not too long and that’s when it really sinks in and that’s when it hits him that these god damn drugs won’t fix him.
Curled up on the floor, can’t take it anymore. Now he’s talking to God cuz he’s the only one that gets him. On his knees, looking up, can’t stop crying "God I know we haven’t talked in a long time
but this time I really need you. Please God help me, say something just give me a sign, because now I’m falling apart and I don’t think that I can do it. Please God, give me the strength to pull through it. Tell me, Should I give up? I could end it all right now. I just don’t know if I’m brave enough to do it. Cuz there’s gotta be a better way than suicide.Try to wait it out, give it time, you’ll be fine. But it’s been so long and I still haven’t been able to get rid of all the thoughts that I feel inside. So sick, so angry, so mad and to top it off no one even knows that”
That’s when he stood up, wiped his tears, walked over to his desk
and got a pen and a notepad. He just couldn’t see it getting any better. So on a cold dark night in December, Steven knew exactly what he had to do. But first he sat down and wrote a couple letters.
One to his step-dad, one to his mother, couple to the kids at school, one to his brother. Bringing them the pain that they once brought him
tear drops on the paper one after another. Yeah, I hope that you all feel guilty. Cuz I’m broken now and you can’t heal me. Now you’re all an accompliss in murder, each and every one of you has chipped in to kill me.
So the reason that I’m writing you this evening, is to say goodbye and to tell you that I’m leaving. But don’t hold your breath cuz I ain’t never coming back.
Sincerely yours, Steven
This is from Jake Miller’s song Steven.
Sad, isn’t it? Its horrible to think that our behavior against others can cause them to have depression and even suicidal thoughts. Nobody should feel that way, and nobody wants to feel that way. We are on this planet together, I mean nobody gets out alive, so why not be kind to each other?